Baby Makes Three

So we've had the ultrasound and my first real appointment with the doctor. The ultrasound was an amazing experience. Suddenly there's the baby, with it's furiously beating heart which we could see, like a flickering of light on the screen. I suddenly thought 'there really is someone in there, I can see him.'

I can certainly feel that something is happening to my body, but I want the process to speed up so that I can feel the baby there. I want to feel the kicks and the squirming, I want to look like I'm pregnant so that I can rub my belly and cradle our child with not just my womb, but my hand as well.

Despite wanting to speed everything up, we're actually taking a step back. According to the ultrasound I'm actually due Sept 28th instead of the 18th. Which means I'm at nine weeks, again. Which is also a delay on when I thought I'd be reaching second trimester which is generally a physically kinder period in the pregnancy.

I did get to hear our baby's heart beating during the doctors appointment, which was a welcome surprise as usually it can't be heard until at least the 10th week.

It's so awe inspiring to be a part of creating someone. It is such a extraordinary event, but one that is so ordinary. There are a lot of parents out there, but it is so evidently such a special and blessed event. This is truly a gift from God.

Laying eyes

Our doctor is sending us for an ultrasound so that we can accurately date the baby, which is easier done earlier rather then later. Most of the books I've seen say that the ultrasound usually happens at 18 weeks, instead we're going Friday the 17, in just over a week from today. I wasn't expecting the chance to see our baby so quickly, I'm really excited. Although I am a little worried that I won't "get" the ultrasound, whenever I see those pictures on TV or whatever I can never figure out the image. I can never seen the baby.

2 hours before the ultrasound you must have COMPLETED drinking 4 (8 ounce) cups of water, and there will be no relieving of the bladder. Like are they aware that I'm pregnant? Wish me luck.

He or She

We are now at about five weeks so this is what is going on now:

Day 30: The embryo is 10,000 times larger than the original fertilized egg. The heart is pumping increasing quantities of blood through the circulatory system. The placenta forms a unique barrier that keeps the mother's blood separate while allowing food and oxygen to pass through to the embryo.

Day 35, Week 5: Five fingers can be discerned in the hand. The eyes darken as pigment is produced. The embryo is now the size of a raspberry.

Tomorrow Eric and I are going to see the doctor for the first real check up. This is going to be a long one, consisting of a full physical and lots of pregnancy talk; which should really help this all to hit home.

On some days, and some moments, I really feel pregnant. I know that I'm helping to make a baby inside of me; however trying to actually discern that a real baby could actually be growing inside me is sometimes totally unbelievable. When my body is behaving abnormally I know that I'm pregnant. Most of the time though I feel normal, and occasionally during those periods I'm so scared that it'll all just go away. It's the most terrifying feeling in the world, but it's balanced by the feeling of joy and anticipation, the curiosity and awe. I can't wait to meet this baby.

What will this child, this mix of Eric and I look like? Act like? Will he or she be like either of us? Will it be a he or she? Eric's subconscious seems to have decided that it's going to be a boy. I had a day last week when I was convinced it was going to be a boy, but since then I' haven't been sure. In about 32 weeks we'll know for sure.