He or She

We are now at about five weeks so this is what is going on now:

Day 30: The embryo is 10,000 times larger than the original fertilized egg. The heart is pumping increasing quantities of blood through the circulatory system. The placenta forms a unique barrier that keeps the mother's blood separate while allowing food and oxygen to pass through to the embryo.

Day 35, Week 5: Five fingers can be discerned in the hand. The eyes darken as pigment is produced. The embryo is now the size of a raspberry.

Tomorrow Eric and I are going to see the doctor for the first real check up. This is going to be a long one, consisting of a full physical and lots of pregnancy talk; which should really help this all to hit home.

On some days, and some moments, I really feel pregnant. I know that I'm helping to make a baby inside of me; however trying to actually discern that a real baby could actually be growing inside me is sometimes totally unbelievable. When my body is behaving abnormally I know that I'm pregnant. Most of the time though I feel normal, and occasionally during those periods I'm so scared that it'll all just go away. It's the most terrifying feeling in the world, but it's balanced by the feeling of joy and anticipation, the curiosity and awe. I can't wait to meet this baby.

What will this child, this mix of Eric and I look like? Act like? Will he or she be like either of us? Will it be a he or she? Eric's subconscious seems to have decided that it's going to be a boy. I had a day last week when I was convinced it was going to be a boy, but since then I' haven't been sure. In about 32 weeks we'll know for sure.